‘Gutfeld!’ on woke culture and identity politics

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‘Gutfeld!’ on woke culture and identity politics

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," January 31, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANN

Universities like Yale must stand up to the mob and protect a culture of free speech
Joe Rogan is ‘unstoppable’ after confronting cancel culture: Concha
Turkey NATO veto drives Swedish culture clash around Kurdish minister


This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” January 31, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: You’re just a little bit hangover from the last 24 hours of drinking. Yes. Clap away, you psychopaths. I need all the help I can get. Happy Monday, everyone. So glad to be back after a glorious weekend. So today let’s talk about heroes, people who risked their lives for others, people who put your needs before theirs. In our ab- obsessed fitness conscious world. We forget about this man.

The man with the beard gut, the individual who took on the burden of girth, so that we might marvel at its worth when we’re at the beach or with letters written on it at a freezing football game or even better in the mirror over your bed. It’s impressive that men and women can achieve such unfettered size, it almost defies biology. Meanwhile, instead we applaud those who have six pack abs even though with the right genes and a week of Kat’s cooking. Anyone can do that. And yet gargantuan guts go unnoticed until now.

Yes, thank God finally it’s here. A beer gut emoji has arrived to Apple phone — iPhones with its latest voluntary update. This new emoji comes in five different skin tones. So someone with a massive beer gut can be any shade that he, she or they want. Budweiser and pancakes do not discriminate. Like Bill Hemmer’s hot tub, it’s totally inclusive. Now I’m aware this is a small step for beer guts. But what’s next?

Maybe one day he or she can be on the Supreme Court, if he identifies at least as a black woman of color first, which should happen. I mean, if a woman with a penis can swim against a woman without a penis, that a white man without a vagina could be on the Supreme Courts provided he identifies as a black woman with a vagina or without. I am confused. But let me finish.

Of course, our racist country would probably flip out. Did you see the latest ABC News poll? As you know, our unifier in chief said he only nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court. The guy works like a bottle of white out in reverse. But 76 percent of Americans would prefer him to consider all possible nominees, instead of say limiting his search to only seven percent of the population.

So wait, Americans want all possible nominees? You mean like Asians, Mexicans, Indians? Please. We’re talking about the Supreme Court here, not a food court. And we know what all possible nominees is code for. Old white guys. And certainly not black lesbians with a beer gut like me. Now emojipedia the company who created the beer gut emoji says the new figure may be used by transmen, non-binary people or women with short hair.

Which is all good news for my softball team. But it’s true, all of those people can get their own beer gut, that’s science according to the researchers at Old Milwaukee. It’s not like saying a guy can get pregnant. That would be nuts. Or should I say nut less? And how crazy would it be to make an emoji for that? And pretend that it’s a common everyday thing? It would be silly. I mean, I see beer guts wherever I go.

But I never actually see a pregnant man. Unless it’s the media pointing their cameras at one pregnant man. Sometimes I wonder how many so-called pregnant men there are on the planet. Are there enough on the globe to fill up one Lamaze class? Isn’t it funny how no one ever bothers to count that sort of thing? Is it really a thing? Is it too hard to count? Or is it that they probably not like the answer?

Because then you wouldn’t be able to justify the emoji but that’s OK with the media. You know what’s not OK? The OK sign seen here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Ah. It’s like my alarm clock. The Nebraska Cornhuskers, whatever that is, decided to finally change their hideously racist mascot logo. See originally Herbie Husker is making an OK gesture. And as reported in the media some, yes the mysterious some, we never know who have linked this symbol to white supremacy. Yes, this symbol as seen here. And here and here and here and here.

Yes. Look at all these racists proclaiming white supremacy. Who’s ever in charge of vetting members for the Klan is obviously doing a horrible job. But it doesn’t matter. The cartoon mascot created back in the 1970s was changed to Herbie making a number one sign. I guess that’s pleasing primatologist all over the country. But it’s so racist. Don’t they know what the number one sign means?

It means quite literally supremacy because there’s only one number one and who’s doing it? Herbie who was as white as Gwen’s Stefany taking a milk bath. But he’s got the only mascot to come under fire this week.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you, everybody for coming. Real quick. I just want to apologize for my actions last week, I did not realize that my signature claw and cat’s hand gesture was offensive to students with arthritis.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Leo, Leo, don’t you feel your mane is also offensive to our bald students?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I do not actually. We are a high school after all, not a lot of bald guys around. And girls, bald guys and girls.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Leo, Leo, PETA here. Aren’t you taking mascot jobs away from real lions?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, actually, they tried having a real lion as a mascot a while back and he just kept beating the football team. So that’s why he got a guy in this costume.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Aha. So you’re OK with appropriating animal culture.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK. You know what this press conference is over. Meow.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Bottom line, Nebraska fell for a trolling hoax. Just like every other cowardly company that pays too much attention to Twitter and other useless idiots. To quote the Nebraska athletic department’s Lorna Heinrichs, “That hand gesture could in some circles represent something that does not represent what Nebraska athletics is about. We just didn’t even want to be associated with portraying anything that somebody might think, you know, that it means white power.”

Well, hey, I got a better idea for your mascot. Why not have him holding his testicles in a mayonnaise jar? So there you go. It doesn’t matter if the smear is real. It’s only if someone out there might think it’s racist and who cares who that someone is? It could be Jussie Smollett. You know, if it is MAGA attackers were making that gesture when they hate crime to him. And so the morons in Nebraska athletics think it’s OK to see the OK sign is racist then I can see the pregnant man emoji as a beer gut.

Because that’s what I think I’m seeing, right? And at least my observation is grounded in science, not science fiction.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She ran track for LSU, now she chases headlines for you. Co-anchor of “AMERICA REPORTS” Sandra Smith. He’s British, he’s smart. And he has no idea why he’s here. Author and political commentator, Douglas Murray. His close class more than Israel and Hezbollah, “FOX ACROSS AMERICA” host Jimmy Failla. And her New Year’s resolution was making to February. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.

Jimmy, I was thinking you would probably feel better represented with the beer gut emoji but then I’m thinking an emoji for you would probably be represented best with like a dumpster filled with rotten salad and thrown away clothes, right?

JIMMY FAILLA, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: It’s good to see you too, man.

(CROSSTALK)

FAILLA: Nice to say this. Nice to see you.

GUTFELD: You identify as a Salvation Army dumpster.

FAILLA I just — I’m just going to take that one.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Because I don’t have a lot of dumpster comebacks on me. You know what I mean?

GUTFELD: It’s good not to have a comeback dumpster.

FAILLA: Yes, that’s right. Yes. Well, there’s that the rent don’t pay itself, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: No, that’s a fascinating one. I liked that the pregnant man emoji comes in every race.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: It’s way people of all ethnicities can tell the world they two- failed biology.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Like come on, man. Like my brother is pregnant actually. He’s registered Bed, Bath and (BLEEP) like, come on. It’s all so dumb. And I think we got to this place where it’s almost like we’re trolling each other. Like they have to know on some level, you really don’t know of a pregnant male.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: And the only stats they can cite are women who menstruate who now identify as men which makes them what biological women.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: You know, so when I saw this emoji, I’m not kidding. I did think like you did that it was first, you know, fat guy. And then I thought maybe it was just one of the kids who makes the iPhone in the factory pulling a prank. I have no idea what to think of it. But it’s just like we’re past the point of absurdity because we’ve gotten so inclusive. We’re now including everything with the facts.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: And that’s supposed to be the tell that it’s time to like take their keys and send them home. No? Yes. All right. Thank you. It makes no sense. Double check it.

GUTFELD: Douglas. I see if you had an emoji. It would be a monocle.

DOUGLAS MURRAY, POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: Now, was this ? now, when you look — when you see this pregnant man emoji, do you see this as what Jimmy sees it which is kind of like a deliberate political or ideological trolling? Or is it a delusion in which there is an actual belief that there are pregnant men?

MURRAY: It’s a total delusion.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: And I just feel sorry for the kids.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: I mean, I don’t know how much sex education you got.

GUTFELD: Oh, not very much.

MURRAY: No, that’s what I guess.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) Uncle Steve. And (INAUDIBLE) Playboys.

MURRAY: So glad you added that last bit. But the — but no, but I mean, I mean, I got very little. And what I did get told by the monks was not that useful.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: But now I think — now, I think what if — what if I were growing up and the world around me was saying and also guys can become pregnant. I’m trying to think back to my sort of, you know, early teens, late not self and thinking, what kind of confusion this would cause. I mean, all your friends will be saying things like, you know, apparently, you know, you can get it if you sit on a chair. A woman was recently sitting on.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURRAY: Or if you really love someone, or maybe just like a bird, like a stalker rub your window and deliver a baby to you. I’d be terrified of that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Absolutely terrified.

GUTFELD: A giant baby dropping birds. I mean, a giant bird dropping babies. No. It’s worse.

MURRAY: And any moment, any moment, any moment, you could become pregnant and you’re a guy, and no one tells you this stuff. And then they do. And it’s hard enough when you’re growing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Without all of this.

GUTFELD: It’s so confusing as a child. You’re right. This is horrifying. It’s horrifying. When you think about it like a kid dealing with this stuff. They’re going to have to put it in sex ed, no one’s going to understand it. Sandra, you know what? The thing is, this opens up a door for identification of anything, right? I mean, we all made fun of — five years ago, we made fun of Rachel Dolezal.

She was just ahead of the curve, she was identifying as black. If a — if a man could be a woman and swim in the NCAAs or the ? is it called the NCAAs?

MURRAY: NC yes, double A’s.

SANDRA SMITH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: You can do that.

(CROSSTALK)

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: You always do this.

SMITH: We understand.

GUTFELD: You know what, this show is over. What do you think?

SMITH: Great question. And great lead into my point. I love to do two things. I love to run. And I love to drink wine. And I still can’t find a white wine emoji. I feel like that should have been priority. I think that we’ve heard some of the ladies on that number to agree with that point. You would also not change the skin color. Maybe I’m wrong of the runner emoji which I use often because I often like to run.

And as your straight news anchor, I thought it would dive into the numbers because you keep saying this is not a real thing. It’s unclear in the U.S. how many men have delivered babies. That is a fact because it’s not reported. At least 22 men in Australia gave birth in 2018. That’s according to the Daily Mail because they actually do have data in Australia apparently.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: How ironic it_fs called the Daily Mail.

SMITH: I love how Fox Business ends this article, Apple did not immediately respond to an inquiry from Fox Business on that point. I do agree with you, I believe that this is going to be unless you follow the news and watch Greg, you’re going to see this and you’re going to think it’s a man who ate too much barbecue or drank too much beer and it will be used by those cultures. Right, Greg?

GUTFELD: Yes, I hope so (INAUDIBLE) I would like to see an entire Supreme Court made up of pregnant and non-pregnant men and we could call it SCROTUS.

TIMPF: I think we might just see that. Yes, I don’t know. I mean, I’ll call anybody whatever they want. Like — and I’ve also — like I learned in therapy, you can’t change anyone else’s behavior, you can only change your reaction to it. So if someone came up to me was like, I’m a man and I’m pregnant. I just say congratulations.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: That’s it. But, you know, the Supreme Court, Biden, what he could have done if he wanted to nominate a black woman he could have just done that.

GUTFELD: Yes. Exactly. But yes.

TIMPF: Instead of making a big thing, like I’m going to nominate a black woman, because that’s how not racist I am.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I think it would be like a much bigger sign of progress if you just did it. Like this is this qualified person I nominate.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: He wants the political point.

FAILLA: Of course. This happened twice.

TIMPF: Yes?

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. I think we solved so many of the world’s problems.

FAILLA: It’s not done. I don’t even know ?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I don’t even know why we should move forward with it. Let’s shut down the entire network and go play golf. Midnight golf. All right. Up next, the former Duke and Duchess join the anti-Rogan ruckus.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: These has beens aren’t done playing Fahrenheit 451. Yes, before any podcast is dispersed, run it by these jackasses first. Their songs may be old and tired, but they still want Joe Rogan fired. So it’s us or Joe say the leftovers from a.m. radio. Blasting Joe Rogan for misinformation, although they’re old enough to die from constipation. That’s a lot of rhyming. I couldn’t make up my mind.

So Harry Meg, what I call Prince Harry and his wife, apparently expressed concerns about COVID misinfo on Spotify where they also have a podcasting deal. So far that $25 million podcast deal resulted in just a single 30- minute episode. If I were Spotify, I’d express concerns about that. You know, you think they came from royalty. A spokesperson says the couple have continued to express concerns to Spotify to ensure changes to its platform.

Blah, blah, blah and address how public health crisis is. Meanwhile, their washed up artists have joined Neil Young, asking Spotify to pull their music and objection to Rogan, including Bruce Springsteen’s guitarist Nils Lofgren, a poor man C.C. DeVille. Thank you. Neil is also the number of his songs. Anyone remembers. And there’s the homeless cat lady, Joni Mitchell. For a quick refresh let’s hear her biggest hit.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh. Magical I tell you. Anyway, Spotify (INAUDIBLE) they’ll add a content advisory to any podcast that says COVID which Rogan happily welcome. Hey, never make me stop. He also said this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE ROGAN, AMERICAN PODCASTER: I want to thank Spotify for being so supportive during this time. And I’m very sorry that this is happening to them, and that they’re taking so much heat from it.

And I’m not trying to promote misinformation. I’ve never tried to do anything with this podcast, other than just talk to people.

I do all the scheduling myself, and I don’t always get it right. I am going to do my best in the future to balance things out. But my point of doing this is always just to create interesting conversations and ones that I hope people enjoy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I just noticed what a perfectly oval shaped head he has. But that wasn’t even as half as interesting as what Rogan discussed last week, namely the second best looking person on tonight’s panel.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JORDAN PETERSON, CANADIAN CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST: I was walking through New York Times Square with Douglas Murray about a month ago, and we were — we had gone to an opera. There’s these people dressed up like superheroes. Spider Man ran up to me and he said, are you Jordan Peterson? And I said, are you Spider Man? And that was pretty damn funny. And then Douglas Murray, we were walking by and he’s — Douglas Murray said, I wish he would have asked me if I was Douglas Murray.

And so I got this sparkling sense of humor that goes along with his insane courage. He’s very ?

ROGAN: He’s very ?

(CROSSTALK)

PETERSON: — Murray. That guy’s got a spine of steel.

ROGAN: He certainly does. And he backs it up with consideration and thought. He shuts people down in a pretty beautiful way down in the —

(END VIDEO CLIP)

MURRAY: And now I’m here.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. Good directing there, guys.

MURRAY: Thank you for that.

GUTFELD: Yes. My pleasure. You’ve got quite a fan club there. What do you make of royalty?

MURRAY: Well, on principle, of course, I never say anything bad about any members at all.

GUTFELD: I mean, that ?

(CROSSTALK)

MURRAY: But fortunately, they’ve left the royal family.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: I can just say I like. Look, I mean, nobody would say the Prince Harry is the smartest member of the family.

GUTFELD: No.

MURRAY: And I ?

GUTFELD: Well, he’s definitely not the dumbest with Meg.

MURRAY: Well, I certainly wouldn’t give either of them permission to decide what anyone can listen to. They have, as you said, managed to hoover up what 25 million from Spotify. And they’ve issued a great typical, sort of very in touch Sussex thing. If you ever doubt about anything, you should always think what would the Duke and Duchess ?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Exactly.

MURRAY: Get it tattooed on your knuckles if you forget. And yet, there’s always — they say that they worry about misinformation. This is — this is a great way in our era that you just shut up anything.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: That is what we used to call asking questions. They say, oh, it’s misinformation. Well, you know, what Joe Rogan does on his podcast is asked questions of people, and he listens to the answers. And most of the mainstream media haven’t done that in a long time. And he gives people long form opportunities to talk and he has scientists on like three hours.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURRAY: And, you know, so far Joe Rogan has done far more for public information than the Sussexes are likely to do even if they live an awfully long time.

GUTFELD: You are very, very right. And you may bring up the point of the length, Kat, it’s like three hours. I am a Joe Rogan fan. I can’t even watch one podcast because I can’t — I don’t have the time. He does like five of them a week. 15 hours of content. I don’t believe any of these people have — I’m saying that as a fan. I watched when he won. I don’t believe any of these people have even watched or could find Joe Rogan on the podcast.

TIMPF: No, I don’t think they have Googled him either.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Probably because he’s had some vaccine skeptics on. He also had CNN’s Chief Medical Correspondent on.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: In 2020, he also — basically endorsed Bernie Sanders.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: He’s not exactly Mr. MAGA, right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: They’re not canceling him for that. They’re trying to cancel him because he has had conversations with people they disagree with which is in remarkably low bar, there’s nobody that would not be canceled under that.

GUTFELD: No, that’s true.

TIMPF: It doesn’t makes sense.

GUTFELD: You know, Sandra, why don’t — Spotify has real issues with the royalty situation. They always have. And it’s like, wouldn’t you want to help your fellow musicians out? They’re — I mean, obviously, Joni Mitchell’s wealthy. The other guy, Neil Young’s wealthy, wouldn’t he — they want to help the — rather than screwing everybody over when you make it more sense?

SMITH: When you say fellow musicians, you just mean fellow famous people and I wonder — I wonder how long they speak out. You saw what happened to Spotify, it went way down in value on the story.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SMITH: Major. I believe it’s coming back because Wall Street saying by this, this is going to go away really fast. How long are those ex-Royals really going to speak out against? They’re big moneymaker for that — for their household at this point. A lot to say about them by the way, that country had braced them when that was there for the wedding. And I still don’t know what it was other than Kate Middleton and jealousy.

I don’t know. But Harry is a sweetheart. And I wish — I wish that family could just — and they loved Meghan and they praised her and I wish they would have stayed together. But we hold us up. So Spotify, everybody cares about the bottom line. I think if you heard Joe Rogan’s apology there and it’s sort of very sincere to me. I hate what this has done to Spotify because he’s worried about ?

GUTFELD: No, he’s good. That was really good apology.

SMITH: And by the way, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, we were talking about this in the greenroom. Go back and look at an addition they did of Helpless singing together. I don’t know, you might not think that they were the sound mind. Like they’re putting themselves as the moral authority, the fact checkers of the universe and trying to shut down Joe Rogan from asking questions. I think there’s a lot of people repeating what Joe Rogan does on that podcast without taking as we have all in our homework, if you didn’t listen regularly.

Taking the time to do. He is trying to get information and he hears from a big range of voices. And that is fact.

MURRAY: By the way. Can — I haven’t heard a whole bunch of Joni Mitchell but did you dub that?

GUTFELD: That’s actually one of her earlier bigger hits went back when, you know, that was in. It was constantly they called it a screech rock.

FAILLA: I actually like — I feel really bad for Joni Mitchell fans. Like this woman weren’t depressed enough without getting roped into a COVID debate.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: They were sitting at home deciding whether or not to adopt another cat. And now they’re on the frontlines of a freaking war about COVID.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: And shame on these people because they clearly don’t listen to his podcast.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: And we’ve all kind of circled in. But what he does is he smoking about a yard of weed and episode.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

FAILLA: — very deep, long conversations. They portray anyone who doesn’t agree with him as some kind of a MAGA strong man, but he’s the antithesis of that.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: And that’s the part that is so frustrating. But these musicians see this as a branding exercise. They want to come out and look virtuous, like they’re on the right side of this. But if we cared about misinformation, there’s a label over every Fauci video you’d ever watch for the rest of your life.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. It’s also, you know, misinformation is the new hate speech.

SMITH: I think it goes to the sports world as well, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SMITH: And how we all just kind of as fans, hungry for entertainment and, you know, good viewing of sports and good listening of good music and the podcast for God’s sake. We just kind of wish musicians would stay in there ?

FAILLA: Every night. I love to say that.

SMITH: And I take on politics.

FAILLA: And Harry and Meghan are just lazy to that point. They’ve given them one episode in two years. They’re just trying to get out of work.

GUTFELD: Yes. They’re disgusting.

FAILLA: And I can’t stand them. Just shut up. They’re not even real Royals. They’re like Kansas City Royals.

GUTFELD: Oh, how dare you. Don’t even ?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Do not bring George Brett into this conversation.

FAILLA: The only way he wears the crown is if he has a birthday at Burger King.

GUTFELD: Oh.

FAILLA: Like get over yourself.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Shut up.

TIMPF: They let anyone wear those crowns.

GUTFELD: That is true. All right, we got to move on. Up next. They waste resources to console for any thought they don’t control.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: If names or words broke your bones, Colorado State is waiting by the phones. Turning Point USA is accusing Colorado State University, isn’t that exciting, of intolerance after putting up this sign highlighting 17 resources for kids impacted by the First Amendment. Yes, 17 resources for bruised feelings. I don’t even have one resource for actual bruises like on my finger. Thanks, Kat.

The sign reads: If you or someone you know are affected by a free speech event on campus, here are some resources. Among the 17 options, the Office of Equal Opportunity Multicultural Counseling, the Vice President of Inclusive Excellence and the Victims Assistant Hotline. I’d point out that those resources sound redundant, but then they create another resource to deal with that. It’s also sad that they need treatment for a free speech event. I thought our country was a free speech event.

Colorado State gave us this statement reading in part, “CSU is committed to free speech as both a legal protection and a foundation of the robust debate that is core to higher education. We also recognize the power of speech to impact people deeply. The sign is a list of some of the many resources available to our students. We tried calling the Victims’ Assistance Online in Colorado, Colorado State.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you for calling the CSU Victims Assistance Hotline. If you’ve been traumatized by the Free Speech of Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson or Ann Coulter, press one. If you were served a dish at the cafeteria that was served cold or was culturally insensitive, press two. If a professor wouldn’t extend your term paper deadline or misgendered your dog, press three. If your roommate is making too much noise or once watch the show ‘Cops’ and liked it, press four. And if any word spoken in your presence in any context or language real or imagined since the day you were born, or if you just heard about it through a third-party have ever bothered you in the slightest bit, press five.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: There you go. Kat, what do you make of this Miss Campus Reform Alumnus?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, that’s true.

GUTFELD: Kat.

TIMPF: Sorry about my brain.

GUTFELD: Rough weekend?

TIMPF: Yes, no, actually, really — it is, it is rough. The things you see at the orphanage when you volunteers can stick with you on Monday.

GUTFELD: I know. You’re damaged, aren’t you?

TIMPF: Yes, it’s really hard. Um, no, I just want to know about the people working at this hotline. Like, how do you, how do you talk to these people? And how do you answer those calls? It’s like if you or someone you know, if somebody calls and says: Ho, my friend is upset because there were some other people in another place talking about how free speech is good. I wouldn’t know how to respond to that. So, I truly — I would like to actually hear one of those phone calls because I don’t, I wouldn’t know how to console somebody because I don’t know how to console somebody for a problem that I don’t understand why it is a problem.

GUTFELD: You have a problem consoling people with real problems?

TIMPF: Yes. I usually just laugh.

GUTFELD: Yes, your lack of compassion is a problem. Sandra, is this more about like creating jobs for administrators. It’s like none of this actually helps a student but it helps create more jobs for this giant behemoth? Is that how you say it?

DOUGLAS MURRAY, POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: Behemoth.

GUTFELD: Never have a British person on.

SANDRA SMITH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Genius. To that point, and while some of these resources are absolutely necessary, included in this were the departments and in addition to the employee assistance programs, student diversity programs, Asian Pacific American Cultural Center, Black African Cultures, and the Native American Culture —

GUTFELD: You’re going to read all of them, Sandra? This isn’t F-Fox in the meantime — where they are —

SMITH: I’m overwhelmed thinking about what — how you even have a conversation on these campuses now.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SMITH: Without getting straight to one of these — sent straight to the dean or being, I don’t know, excluded from your friends, or your classes, or your teachers.

JIMMY FAILLA, COMEDIAN: This is the grift of colleges, is they’re trying to create the perception that they care so much about these students, like they’re over caring, right, while simultaneously charging them a half a million dollars for a degree, they’ll never get a job.

GUTFELD: That’s true.

FAILLA: Like, if you want to really —

GUTFELD: Slide of hand.

FAILLA: Thank you. If you prepare these kids for trauma, let them talk to somebody who tried to get a job with a Gender Studies Degree. That’s trauma, you know what I mean? Now, you’re 300,000 in the can you don’t know where to go. And that is the graph is that they have all these departments because they make money.

MURRAY: This doesn’t count anymore. They spent $300,000 getting a gender studies degree and they went on to H.R.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: They did get a job.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: They got jobs all across America, and they’re being created every day. This is —

GUTFELD: This is what — I mean —

SMITH: It’s the fastest growing but it’s segment of the recorded population.

FAILLA: But it’s depressing fragile group of college kids that are worried about what —

MURRAY: This is the job they’ve all gone into. Yes. And other jobs that mean that the student hotline, you can, you can find out, you can say my biology class told me that guys can’t get pregnant.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Bang, you got a great complaint. Wait until, wait until these kids, let’s say the ones studying literature. Well, what happens when they discover a Shakespeare? Hemingway? Anything, anything — it’s going to be just a bloodbath on those phone lines.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: When they discover what’s out there. And then, what about even worse than that? What about when they discover the real world? Wow, they’re going to have calls, they’re going to have to make some calls.

GUTFELD: Yes, unless the unless the world is screwed. You know —

MURRAY: We should just make sure that Kat’s on the other end of that line.

GUTFELD: To save the world.

TIMPF: I will just make noises.

MURRAY: Don’t care.

GUTFELD: So, the science says, so the science says that free speech is a bug in the system and not the system. We were the — free speech was the system.

FAILLA: Yes.

GUTFELD: Now, they’re saying no, that’s just an exception that you have to deal with. All right. Coming up, the black face politician who vanished like a lame magician.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Oh where, oh where is their prime minister? Canada’s leader is nowhere to be found as thousands of truckers roll into town. Yes, the trucker protest was riding. Trudeau stole a page from Biden. As a convoy of Canadian truckers protesting mandates enter the country’s capital city of Ottawa — that’s how it’s pronounced. It’s believed that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his family were moved to a secret location over security concerns. Now warning, he might be disguised.

Of course, there were zero reports of violence according to Ottawa police. Still Canada’s black face in chief condemn the truckers for holding unacceptable views and not following the science. You know, like the science that said vaccines prevent infection and transmission. Speaking of, you’ll never guess switch fully vaccinated boosted world leader tested positive for COVID today. Justin tweeted the news to let us know, he’s feeling fine, good. And he’s continued to work remotely or remotely working. Where that is exactly? Nobody knows. But what came first the COVID quarantine or the convoy cowering? Was his move to a secret location and orchestrated stunt to imply that mandate protesters are scary violent thugs. We go to a pissed off Canadian for comment.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Don’t run car!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Holy crap!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: They’re beautiful, but they’re stupid. Sandra, I wasn’t talking about me. Or you. I’m talking about the moose. But what? I should look at the tape first. Sandra, what do you think? What do you think about this whole trucker thing?

SMITH: This whole trucker thing, listen to the people. I mean, Justin Trudeau made it very clear where he stood, stood on the anti-mask mandate stuff that was happening here in the United States. And for one, he said that it was anti science to be anti-mask — sorry, anti-vaccine mandate. But he said there was a second reason why he was backing this. And he said because it’s Canadian values of kindness.

GUTFELD: Right.

SMITH: The reason why these, these vaccine mandates should be in place. And it gave us a sense of him running from the from the actual dealings with this when he went into hiding those fears. They said of violence towards Trudeau and his family now he’s got COVID. We wish him well. But truckers wanted their voices heard, Greg. That’s it.

GUTFELD: No, that’s it. That’s what we hope he does feel better. But he did make the whole situation worse by smearing the truckers.

FAILLA: Yes, no question. And that’s the crazy part right now is we’re relying on a bunch of Canadians to fight for our freedom. That’s scary. Next, we’ll be relying on the Irish to fight for our sobriety. Like, I don’t know how I feel about this. I wish I could say that, um —

GUTFELD: Are you?

FAILLA: This is so embarrassing, though, I keep it in drinking parlance, because these people aren’t drunk on power. They are plastered on power. Like when you look at the revelations of the last few weeks in terms of natural immunity, what we all knew to be true about masks but they finally admitted and no one’s willing to admit Stop the stance or rein it in a little bit from vaccine or economic death for you and your family these are people beyond the pale of intoxication with power and he’s embarrassed. I mean having, having now tested positive at that point you’re supposed to shut up about saying vaccinated people are doing it for their fellow men.

MURRAY: Right.

FAILLA: It’s clearly for yourself.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think you could find out where he is. You just follow the trail of shoe polish.

MURRAY: Yes, I’ve got a thing that Justin believes that they’re only coming for him because he’s black. That’s the main thing.

FAILLA: It’s a hate crime.

MURRAY: It’s a crime of a kind. He is the world’s worst Democratic leader, isn’t he, by just such a long way?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: I mean, everyone does this thing these days of smearing any critic of them as you know, misogynistic, racist, homophobic believes men can’t give pregnant birth. Sort of — they do all of that stuff and all of their credit. But Justin Trudeau is the absolute worst at that. I mean, I mean, all these trackers turn out and he describes them as this was it something fringe of some —

GUTFELD: Yes fringe, unacceptable.

MURRAY: And then the other week he said that they, these are people who hold misogynistic views. He has no idea. He didn’t even — try he just throws it out there. Might as well say that they’re misogynist, might well say they’re racist. And, and then the, the truckers get into town and he flees under security reasons, I actually love that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Security reasons, because obviously, obviously these truckers want to kill Justin Trudeau. Obviously, that’s their aim, rather than making a valid point that he could do with listening.

GUTFELD: Yes, these are people who don’t go around making points all the time so you got to listen to them. It’s not like truckers are like activists.

TIMPF: No, and they’re also not around others like as part of their profession, which I mean, like no one is like, oh, I love you know people, so I’m going to be a truck driver. It’s like, truck people are going to say like murdering people not all of them but a few. There have been several serial killer truck drivers. So, I don’t know what the — there is look it up, read about it Jimmy, read a book Jimmy, listen to a podcast Jimmy.

FAILLA: Hangout with me. I have a question.

TIMPF: OK? You cannot mess with my serial killer knowledge, Jimmy.

FAILLA: Well, listen.

TIMPF: What’s the difference?

MURRAY: Hashtag not all truckers. Please. Please.

GUTFELD: Yes, thank you. Thank you.

TIMPF: Not all. I said that. I said that. I’m always cover basis.

MURRAY: Please, it can’t be said enough.

TIMPF: I know how to cover it. I cover, I covered it, OK. But why is, the why the obsession with truck drivers specifically? They sit in their truck? They sit on their truck.

GUTFELD: Why are they obsessed with serial killers, Kat?

FAILLA: First of all —

TIMPF: I don’t know. I thought a lot about it, I’ve unpacked it mentally and I can’t figure it out because I’m not a violent person myself. I don’t have violent impulses myself.

GUTFELD: No, you’re not, you’re not.

FAILLA: But in her single days —

TIMPF: I’m sweating.

GUTFELD: I’m sweating.

MURRAY: I think we need to say something really nice about truck drivers right.

GUTFELD: They’re amazing.

TIMPF: I love truck drivers.

GUTFELD: We love truck drivers.

MURRAY: Thank you. They’re great. They’re heroic people. They’re heroic Canadians.

GUTFELD: I want this to end positively, end positively.

SMITH: I will just say, the Ottawa police they had — it went as far as to warn of lone wolf attacks. There has not been a single —

FAILLA: One fed firing off a tweet. And listen, bottom line is a guy who talks to a lot of truckers on the radio, they’re never going to be scared of COVID because when you’re sleeping with lot lizard, your immune system is way stronger. Thank you, Tucker.

GUTFELD: There you go. All right. Up next, has Bill Maher become the next Fox News star?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Bill Maher enjoys this conservative appeal as the left has I’m asking, are you freaks for real?

Yes, liberal policies keep getting wacky, and it’s put Bill Maher on the attack key. And now he just mused, he’s a hero to Fox News. On Friday night, Maher opened with a clip of our very own Dana Perino suggesting you might be recruited to run for president. Maher insisted that Republican saying nice things about him doesn’t mean he’s any different than he was before.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BILL MAHER, COMEDIAN: It’s not me who’s changed, it’s the left, who is now made up of a small contingent who’ve gone mental and a large contingent who refused to call them out for it, but I will. That’s why I’m a hero at Fox these days.

Not my fault that the party of FDR and JFK is turning into the party of LOL and WTF.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, like me bringing in a twister mat into the Planet Fitness steam room. He’s just asking to get kicked out. The bar is one of the few lefties talking sense today, which is easy to do when your competition is “The View” and the hosts are as reasonable as gangrene. Maher gave some examples of the left lunacy defending the cops, canceling debt, calling math racist, everything that we’ve done for years. But I wonder if the Democrats will listen? I hope not because if they do, I’d be out of a job. And as for being a hero at Fox, there’s only one hero at Fox these days.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: “JESSE WATTERS PRIMETIME” tonight, 7:00.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I told him that would live forever. I’m going to make sure it does. Thoughts, Kat.

TIMPF: I love truck drivers. Other than that —

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Which is hard to think about anything else because I love them so much.

GUTFELD: Oh, you do, you do.

TIMPF: Like, I like — some of my liberal friends will say these things to me, but they won’t ever say them to each other.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Like, they all agree with this, but it’s like a cult where nobody actually believes what the cult is supposed to believe.

GUTFELD: Yes. It’s like being in Scientology and saying, you know, the alien stuff doesn’t make any sense. What do you think?

MURRAY: The alien, aliens, Scientology or Bill Maher. OK, I’ll do Bill Maher. He’s, he’s about the only person who’s ever said, it’s not me that’s moved, who’s actually telling the truth.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: Most of the time when former leftists say I didn’t move, the left, left me.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURRAY: They’ve gone further right than the fish knife.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: And he’s one of the very few examples of somebody who actually has remained, for decades, exactly in the same place. It’s completely true for left as left Bill Maher.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURRAY: It’s, it’s, it’s just gone off in this crazy direction that we’ve spent part of this evening talking about.

GUTFELD: Yes, it’s true.

MURRAY: It’s a cult. It’s an — it is actually anti-science. Again, going back to our first subject, and you know, it requires people like Bill Maher to rein them in. But all it happens whenever somebody like him does is they say, oh, Bill Maher has become a far-right, probably an in cell, probably misogynistic and racist and probably anti-vax.

GUTFELD: Yes, and should be in a cell. Quickly.

FAILLA: I guess, I want to be respectful to the guy. I think he’s the second-best political comedian after Chris Cuomo. But I don’t give him, I don’t give him that much credit for this because he played a role in shaping that audience.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: He spent three years saying Trump was literally Hitler and was in bed with Putin and perpetuated that every day. He wants out of the thing he created. This is the comedic version of the Poe book, “The Cask of Amontillado,” where the guy built his own cell and realizes like, oh my god, I’m walling myself in. He didn’t want to do one no comedy for the rest of his life. He’s always been a pretty opportunistic guy. I don’t deny him his intelligence. But this was an exercise in self-preservation, because you can’t be relevant defending that one note side of comedy.

GUTFELD: Yes, he has been there for a long time while we were doing this stuff. So, now, I — welcome to the club, I would say.

SMITH: And now probably be on the right side of history. We’ll see what happens with the midterm elections. But in that same breath, he, he lamented that San Francisco is turned into a shoplifter’s paradise who, who can disagree with that?

GUTFELD: Yes.

SMITH: So, he’s calling out his own. I think they — to, Kat, your point. They know this is happening. To Jen Psaki, today and that podcast, to being identified that she points to a Fox News chyron and seemingly mocks are covering a crime crisis happening in this country if they don’t start identifying these crises, they’re going to pay for it in November

GUTFELD: There you go. All right, we got to press on like those nails. we’ll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We’re out of time. Thanks to Sandra Smith, Douglas Murray, Jimmy Failla, and Kat Timpf. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.

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